In My Hand I Hold A Ball,
White And Dimpled…Rather Small.
Oh, How Bland It Does Appear,
This Harmless Looking Little Sphere.
By Its Size I Could Not Guess
The Awesome Strength It Does Possess.
My Life Has Not Been Quite The Same
Since I Chose To Play This Stupid Game.
It Has Made Me Curse And Made Me Cry,
It Promises Me A Thing Called Par,
To Master Such A Tiny Ball,
It Hooks And Slices, Dribbles And Dies,
Often It Will Have A Whim,
With Miles Of Grass On Which To Land,
Then Has Me Offering Up My Soul,
It’s Made Me Whimper Like A Pup,
And Swear That I Will Give It Up.
Recent studies found average golfers walk 900 miles a year.
Another study found golfers drink 22 gallons of BOOZE.
This means, on average, golfers get 41 miles to the gallon!
Kind of makes you proud. Almost makes you feel like a hybrid. . . ..